Faiz. 22. Used to be an introvert, but now slowly becoming ambivert.


This post is gonna be one of my personal posts. Seriously. It's about my thoughts on relationship. Not that I'm not interested to be in a relationship, it's just I'm kinda interested but at the same time I feel like relationship is just a bullshit. Or maybe it's just because I've never had the opportunity to, umm actually know and understand what relationship is all about. To feel, to be involved in it.

In my whole life, I've never involved in any real, genuine relationship so... that just proves how pathetic and loser I am. Idk, like, pfff I'm about to turn 20 and I don't even know how and what relationship is supposed to be about. Seeing all those couples' pictures/tweets on Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, makes me wonder... how does it feels like to be in a relationship? It got me wondered so deep like, what should I do as a boyfriend? What should I do to keep my partner stay in love with me? Loyalty, will my partner stay loyal to me? Is my partner gonna cheat on me? What should I do if I got cheated on? And many more...

Sure it does feels kinda lonely sometimes when you're not in a relationship but... umm idk it's just I don't think I'm gonna do well in a relationship like I'm soooo gonna be the worst boyfriend ever you could imagine. But umm yeah, I'm not like the other guys who feels like omg I've been single for years I need to be in a relationship now or I'll be single for life woops better start searching now. Nope, I kinda prefer to wait. I know I sound like a loser, but umm yeah I'd rather just wait and see what's gonna happen to me, I'm not the kind of guy who do the first move though. Simply put, I considered myself as an errr observer? Wallflower? Idk... but yeah the good thing is I'm free and I can do whatever I want without having to worry about controlling/be controlled by my partner.

Yeah, whatever, it's just my 4AM thoughts. xx