Faiz. 22. A homosexual. Used to be an introvert, but now slowly becoming an ambivert.

First Semester (Degree)

Hello, it’s around 5AM now (masa aku tulis ni lah) and aku terbangun pukul 3 lebih tadi. Lepas makan biskut sat, cuci muka, and put on Vietnam Mask on my face, tetiba rasa nak write new post pula while waiting for the mask to dry.

Alright, I’m gonna update you about my first semester experience as a Degree student at Universiti Malaya. Ni akan sum up all the experiences I had while in my first semester. Sekarang ni tengah study week, ramai orang balik, so Kinabalu memang tengah sunyi sangat. Tak にぎやか (lively) as usual. Jom start cerita!

So far, I’m not saying that I enjoy gila dekat UM ni, to the point of rasa macam “Wow memang syok gila study kat UM ni, the best thing ever!” No no, belum reach to that point lagi, it’s still too early for me to say that. Dia… okay okay je. Though I can say that, I’m surprised I've never had any bad experiences so far like kena kutuk dengan orang ke, (at least tidak secara serious, depan-depan or obvious), kena pulau because of my personality ke. I’m gonna sound very narcissistic saying this but, so far people enjoyed my existence and I’m pretty sure my loud and outgoing yet a bit introvert personality is one of those things yang buat orang comfortable with me, hee!

Aku boleh kata bila sambung Degree kat UM ni aku memang slowly keluar daripada comfort zone. I started to challenge myself more now, and becoming more positive as well. Self-esteem tidak lah naik daripada 0 ke 100, tapi dia macam 0 pastu naik 20 jap, pastu naik 49, pastu naik sikit 51, pastu turun balik 49. Dia sikit-sikit increase or decrease. But that’s good! Daripada dulu memang often 0 je, asyik malu, and rasa macam oh no I can’t do that, taknak lah let me just be quiet and ordinary, menyorok dekat corner. This time, no. I’m slowly showing myself to everyone, I want people to recognize, and acknowledge my existence, what I’m capable to do.

SERU Programme

This semester, I participated in lot of things. SERU Programme was one of them, which is a programme yang akan boost your soft skills such as communication, public speaking, critical thinking, socialising, and more. Bestnya about SERU ni is that I allow myself to socialised with different kinds of people. I joined it alone tanpa fikir macam eh join lah sebab kawan aku ada join so nanti ada geng. No, aku join tu alone and I MAKE NEW FRIENDS there, which I rarely do sebab I’m an introvert. First programme memang for first years, ada je kawan from the same KK but we didn’t end up in the same group so memang dapat group dengan strangers juga. Second programme, haa ni memang aku sendiri. Participant dia bukan first year je. Final year ada, postgraduate, and international students pun ada! Takde sorang pun aku kenal, well ada lah satu at least, dia sama group dengan aku masa first programme. Second programme ni I won something actually, sebab according to them, I was one of the most active participant hehe.

Discover SERU: Us during our first task,
menyempat lagi nak selfie LOL.

Right after we finished building our own 'Eiffel' inspired tower.

SERU Walking Tall: Taken right after Asyraf,
(right next to me in the picture) finished his presentation.

I had fun knowing these dudes!

Hehe, I won something!

Softball SUKMUM 2016

Oh, I join sports too. Tadi kat Facebook I saw Presiden KK post gambar, saying congrats to all the 8thletes. I was like yeah, but then terfikir, eh aku one of them too! Walaupun tak menang, definitely learned a lot from joining this. Also, dapat kenal kawan baru; widened my social connection. Haha I don’t really do sports you know but yeah I will join again next semester with better effort, if given the chance.

FESKEK 2016/2017

FESKEK or Festival Kebudayaan Kinabalu is a project under kolej, dia menganjurkan satu pertandingan tarian dan nyanyian di mana dia menggabungkan unsur Melayu, Cina, India, dan tarian kaum etnik daripada Sabah dan Sarawak. Projek ni projek mega, meaning dia ada lagi subprojek. FESKEK tu nama projek besar dia, subprojects dia pula adalah macam Pesta Seni Warisan Melayu, Pesta Kebudayaan Cina, Malam Aspirasi Borneo, dan Malam Deepam. Ada lah participation from UPSI, UKM, UiTM, UPM, and IPTS. This one I really… didn’t enjoy the most. Emphasis on didn’t enjoy, not dislike. Mostly because of the financial issue. For this semester I spend around RM60-RM70 to support this project. I felt like eee Biro Dana & Tajaan didn’t usaha hard enough ke, you guys should be able to find a sponsor, tak kira lah macam mana sekalipun. It’s your task, so you know, put your 200% effort into it! But then, it’s a big project, sebab venue pun DTC, dengan prizes nya lagi for the winners so of course involve banyak duit. But still… ada lah rasa a bit tak syok with the financial issue.

Anyway, my position in this project was as Biro Multimedia & Teknikal, so kitorang in charge of stuff like backstage, lighting, dan audio. Kitorang tulang belakang of the event lah – if we fucked up, the whole event fucked up. I did experience jaga lighting and audio during rehearsal, rehearsal je lah. Best juga! But during the real event, aku in charge of backstage je. Memang kelam kabut, lari sana sini nak pass mic, witness peserta pertandingan nervous, bawa props ke pentas semua haha lawak je bila fikir balik. Overall, out of 10 I give 3.5 lol. Due to lack of participation for aktiviti Melayu dan Cina, dia gabungkan kepada dua hari jadi Malam Apresiasi Nirmala dan Malam Deepam. First night tu memang more to Sabah dan Sarawak, Melayu aku rasa takde satu pun lol. I spent money bukan untuk subprojek aku sendiri, lol. Didn’t enjoy handling this project that much, honestly. Next semester projek ni still ongoing and pengarah projek required us to collect at least RM150 from each members which made me go like BUTO KAU LAH. I don’t know how to react to this bullshit, but I will, I will find my way to collect the money.

Those were the highlights lah, yang lain macam jadi group leader for TITAS, joined Japanese Skit & Speech Contest and actually won something, and emceeing an award event. I’m not a leader person you know, I’m more of a follower. Tapi bila jadi leader untuk satu group yang kau sendiri tak kenal sorang pun members dia, memang a challenge. But I think I suap them too much, next time I need to be more firm lah so that takde lah aku sorang je melebih buat kerja. Skit & Speech contest, for the skit we got 2nd Place and won RM300 which later we divided into RM100 each sebab group members tiga orang. It was fun lah. Emcee, sudah cerita kan.

Oh wow, it’s 6AM lebih now. Okay gotta solat Subuh and go back to sleep. At 9AM nak pergi main library for a study group. Okay, I gotta make sure that I'll get dean list for this semester, 頑張ってファイズ!

See ya, more stories to come! じゃね!

Me, as an Emcee?!

Who thought that I can't be an emcee? Well, myself!

So yesterday afternoon (28th November) I was chilling, waiting for the bus nak keluar from UM. ‘Til I received a call from Dr Asmadi, the Head Department of East Asian Studies.

He called, asked me to come to his office. When I came, Dr Asmadi said,
“Saya nak awak jadi emcee untuk JACTIM Foundation Support 2016 Award Giving Ceremony esok, Dr Rohayati yang recommend awak.”

I was really hesitant to be the emcee as I really, REALLY had no experience as an emcee. Buat report presentation pun suara dah terketaq, let alone be the emcee of a formal ceremony! So, I accepted the challenge. Then I got the text for the ceremony, Dr Rohayati prepare dah siap siap. Oh boi let me tell you, mata gua terbeliak masa tengok the guests.

Among the VIP guests were:
  1. Yang Berhormat Datuk Dr. Mary Yap Kain Ching, Timbalan Menteri Pendidikan Tinggi Malaysia.
  2. Yang Berbahagia Prof. Datuk Dr. Rohana Yusuf, Timbalan Naib Canselor Hal Ehwal Pelajar Universiti Malaya.
  3. Hajime Tokuda, Chairman of JACTIM International Culture Exchange, JACTIM Foundation.
  4. Hiroyuki Orikasa, Counsellor of The Embassy of Japan in Malaysia.
  5. Koichi Horikawa, Director of the Japan Foundation Kuala Lumpur.

and more.

Bila tengok name list of the VIP guests, I was like,
“Yo Faiz, you can’t f this up! Seriously, don’t you even dare!”

Then on that day supposed to ada rehearsal but I couldn’t make it due to personal reasons. So, when nak rehearse nya? Tomorrow lah (29th November), on the day of the event itself. Memang so last minute I tell you. So, the night before event, memang practice baca text betul betul. I even asked some tips from my senpai yang since dulu memang helpful, Farhan Layali. Thanks Paang!

Also dah lah pagi tu ada English Oral Test. So memang juggle lah, kejap read text, kejap read English notes for the test. I slept late of course. Pagi tu pergi test, after that terus pergi rehearsal kejap then came the moment I was afraid the most, the ceremony.

I was shaking, nervous, and kept thinking,
“Faiz, is this the right thing for you to do? Kau memang saje cari maut kan?”

Habis ceremony, I received positive feedbacks which made me very happy.

Yang Berhormat Datuk complimented me, saying that I was ‘an eloquent MC’. Yang Berbahagia Prof. Datuk also said that, I was ‘fluent with the English’. Then, lastly, the Chairman of JACTIM Foundation said, while giving his business card to me,

「グッド エム・シー です。」(Guddo emushii desu!)

Thank you very much! Memang rasa motivated sangat. To some people, benda camni maybe nampak macam cikai je but hey, I tak pernah jadi emcee okay, bagi ah chance nak rasa bangga of my own achievement haha. I deserved to be proud of myself, I rarely feel this, as I, always feel hesitant of my own ability. I always think that I’m bad at almost everything. But this time, I challenged myself and I got through, successfully… I think(?) Definitely slowly getting out of my comfort zone.

I couldn’t be happier. Thank you. Alhamdulillah.

KinaRhinos and RAFF8


So I joined Softball for SUKMUM (Sukan Mahasiswa Universiti Malaya) and sekaligus jadi wakil for my KK, Kolej Kediaman Kinabalu aka Kolej Kediaman Kelapan. I don't really do sports tau, so why Faiz, kau join softball? Well, I don't know if everyone ever heard of this game, but it's called rounders. It's basically a kampung version of baseball lah. This was my favourite game masa kecik kecik dulu, along with baling selipar. I would play these, every petang, during my primary school and early high school era. So, that's why I join softball sebab it's similar to my favourite childgood game. 

Softball pula, as far as I know lah, difference dia dengan baseball is the way pitcher throws the ball. Softball baling bawah, baseball baling atas. Softball pitch dia dekat sikit, compared to baseball. Haa stuff like that lah, ada je more than that. Okay, our KK punya softball training actually tak banyak pun in a week, Wednesday and Thursday from 9.30pm to 11pm. Even though dua hari je, still rasa busy sangat sebab I have other things to do too like assignments, meeting project, training Feseni etc. so schedule jadi pack. I can't imagine those yang join sampai more than 10 projects, how lah korang can give commitment eh?

Alright, four days ago (26th November) was the tournament day. Now, this is where the story gets interesting. First game kitorang fight dengan 5th College (Dayasari), they are known for having superb athletes. Macam kilang proses athlete jugak lah that KK. Second game, fight dengan 9th College (Hornets). If I'm not mistaken, this KK terer with kesenian stuff sebab most of the students kat situ is from Pusat Kebudayaan. Third game pulak, with 6th College (Avicenna). This KK is exclusively for medic students only. So kat sini semuanya future doctor, pharmacist, surgeon, dentist etc. haha.

Now let me tell you about the first game, it was terrible. The Dayasari's pitcher memang no joke weh. Dia pitcher for MASUM (Majlis Sukan Universiti Malaya), so, ball dia memang laju nak mati. I think dalam sorang je kot dapat hit ball dia, the rest tu out sebab it was too fast. First game, we spend more time on fielding rather than batting/hitting. Even budak Dayasari pun made fun of us sebab kitorang memang terrible sangat bila lawan dengan diorang. Diorang naik bosan duduk dekat field sampai ada sorang purposely buka topi just so that dia di-out kan by Umpire and takyah duduk dekat field lol.

Second game, fought against Hornets. Okay, Hornets, diorang mediocre lah. We scored a point tho but once dah out and kena jaga fielding, our pitcher (which was different than the first game) did awful. Hornets daripada tak score apa apa, terus naik to 5 points sebab our pitcher kept giving 'ball' and buat Hornets dapat banyak free walk. Ni paling disappointed sekali sebab I think diorang punya level dengan kitorang, lebih kurang sama je except that our pitcher memang tak bagus compared to them.

Last game, againts the Avicenna. Masa ni semua orang dah koyak sangat. Dah dua game kalah and it was starting to rain masa tu. Dengan Avicenna, kitorang pernah friendly dengan dia tapi... lost 11-0 lol. So bila jumpa balik dengan diorang, we were like,

"So we meet again huh?"

Haha, now, Avicenna punya pitcher quite skilled jugak. Dia punya ball quite fast and the way dia pitch tu agak psycho and dramatic gitu. I was mesmerized jugak lah honestly. Tapi masa fight dengan diorang, hujan turun dengan lebat so we had to stop. Us, the KinaRhinos takde motivation dah nak continue playing. Ada yang suggest give up je lah, sebab memang nampak tak kemana. Tapi Umpire cakap if give up or tarik diri, kena barred from playing for two years. No way man, so we didn't. We waited for the rain to stop, and once dah stop, sambung main. Masa ni best haha, dengan berlumpur semua, duk slide slide sana sini tho I didn't have the chance to do so actually as I, well, tak sempat nak batting sebab kitorang cepat sangat out lol.

In the end, we lost all the game. Among all the opponents, I like Avicenna the most. Sebab diorang sangat humble. Eventho diorang powerful, diorang still kata,

"Eh no kitorang still got a lot to improve."

Good attitude! Hornets pulak gave us some advice regarding pitching. They said, pitcher ni macam jantung of the team. So kena ada pitcher mantap. As for the Dayasari, I have no comments other than I really envy the pitcher sebab the way dia pitch sangat relax and macam cikai cikai je, but still ball dia laju nak mati.

So, from the game, I can conclude that we lost because we lack of training. Lack of practice. Lack of experience. Both our pitcher also tak berapa skilled. As for batting, we were too eager to swing the bat even though the ball was too fast (should have bunt instead) or luar daripada range yang boleh hit. Fielding pulak, we were still clueless at to whom nak pass the ball. Tak alert sangat lagi satu. Catching pun tak sharp, still selalu miss, especially golden chance like flyball. Basically, we weren't ready to compete with anyone yet lol.

Anyway, I enjoyed the game. Kulit gua sunburn teruk. Do I wanna join again next year? Who knows. Maybe.

P/S: RAFF8 is the official name for 8th College's softball team whereas KinaRhinos is the official name for the athletes under 8th College.


As it rains heavily outside with loud thunders, I'm typing this while eating my Roti Butterscotch as my breakfast and lunch, at my Kolej Kediaman, alone in the room with no lights on. It's quite dark.

I just want to say to myself, Happy 21st Birthday.
Hahaha time sure went by so fast, right? I still remember, 5 years ago, I wrote a post on this blog, saying how dull my birthday was. How lonely I felt as no one celebrated my birthday, and now here I am again. Except, the amount of wish that I got, keep decreasing, year by year. This is why I hate this day so much.

If you ask me,
"What's the day that you hate the most in a year?

I would say,
"25th of November."

It's not that I want thousands of birthday wishes from everyone. It's just that... when your own bestfriends pun tak ingat your birthday, of course it feels a bit sad, kan?
Anyway, I guess it's my fault kot... idk maybe I should have been that one loud person yang keep reminding all his friends,

"Hey hey it's my birthday!"
"Hey birthday aku dah dekat jangan lupa wish eh!"
"Hey birthday aku nanti jangan tak bagi hadiah eh!"

Not just senyap je. Kan? I don't know. I mean, I ain't mean shit. Engko sape nak harap everyone ingat birthday kau, eventhough you ingat most of your bestfriends' birthday lol. It's okay.

Alright, kat luar still hujan lebat ni. If past years I would go out on my own, tengok wayang sengsorang as my birthday celebration. This year... I don't feel like it.

"But Faiz, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them baru keluar okay! It's from the Harry Potter franchise, you love Harry Potter series kan? Rugi nya tak tengok harini, as your birthday celebration."

Haha, actually tengah penat sangat ni. Dalam satu minggu ni I had lots of assignments plus softball training. Satu minggu ni total sleep hours only less than 10 hours tau, haa. So harini macam day off lah to stay in my room and just rest. Oh, malam ni ada selection untuk Tarian Tradisional pula. Plus, mesti ada meeting softball untuk discuss strategy for tournament for SUKMUM esok. Takpe lah, kita sambut birthday kat dalam bilik je lah. Pretend je lah Roti Butterscotch ni some sort of kek Secret Recipe ke apa ke. Hahaha, speaking of Secret Recipe, I still remember, back in the day I would pronounce it wrong. Instead of pronouncing it as "see-krit res-uh-pee", I'd pronounce it as "see-krit rih-saip". Oh my, apa lah.

Alright enough with your hambar stories, Faiz. I'm just gonna... nak keluar pun tak actually. I'm gonna log off lah lol and idk maybe tidur since it's the perfect weather for me to do so. Bye.

P/S: Thanks Farah, Helmi, Nina, Jaja, Ikhwan, and my dearest Mom for the birthday wish. Love you. Also Aimi, thanks bitch for that HB Pencil pic lol.

Being a Degree Student at Universiti Malaya.

So this is going to be an update about me studying at UM until now. Of course lah panjang postnya haha. Okay, so far it’s been good, kinda tiring because of busy with classes, and assignments. Recently I went to a lot of projek kolej punya interview, I registered dalam tujuh lah but dropped tiga, atas sebab sebab tertentu like isu kewangan (some projects even required me to pay thousands and I bukan orang kaya fosho lah cannot afford), komitmen, and all, so yeah. Alright, in terms of makan, emm not too many choices lah since Food Court UM dah tutup and replaced with parking lot, but still ada je banyak other places to eat. For breakfast and lunch, memang no problem since you can always go to fakulti lain, and tapau. Usually tapau dekat Fakulti Pendidikan, and Fakulti Sastera & Sains Sosial sebab dekat dengan kelas lol. Dinner on the other hand is umm, a little bit payah. Yes some faculties got their own café, but mostly tak open until night so bila malam have to depend on café dekat kolej kediaman (KK). Now, of course lah different KKs, different kinds of cafés. Like my KK, got three cafés, dua masakan Mamak/India and satu lagi masakan Melayu. For masakan Melayu, okay je sedap je but nak tunggu order tu siap memang sangat lama. For masakan Mamak/India, I only tried twice, hmmm boleh lah sedap jugak lah. Setakat ni dah try makan dekat KK1, KK4, KK7, KK10, and KK12. KK7 and KK12 memang got more choices of food lah rather than my KK. KK3 baru je open their own café so later nak try KK3 pulak, ihikz my old residential college.

OK next, kita cakap pulak pasal bagaimana rasanya jadi degree student dekat UM and a little bit update on studying EA Studies. Honestly, I do feel a bit insecure with all the other degree students. Why? Okay let me tell you eh, mostly freshies UM ni from PASUM (Pusat Asasi Sains UM) or Asasi lain, Kolej Matrikulasi, and STPM. Yang lain tu ada juga from STAM and Diploma, dua ni rasanya kuantiti tak banyak sangat compared to the rest tu. What I notice was, STAM and Diploma macam minority sikit. During orientasi lagi perasan dah bila ada taklimat ke apa, the host will ask,

“Siapa kat sini from (insert level of education)?!”

They will only ask whether you’re from Asasi, Matriks, and STPM je. Yang lain semua jarang ask. Sama lah bila orang tanya kita ni lepasan mana. Mesti diorang akan guess selain daripada Diploma. Tak lah rasa kecewa, cuma rasa macam hey my level of education tak recognized ke kat sini. So bila freshies mostly lepasan tiga ni, of course lah diorang younger than me. Asasi, and Matriks mesti lah umur diorang 19. For STPM or STAM pulak, 20. Diploma students, ada umur 20, or 21 which is my age. Ni cakap pasal yang jenis sambung study terus lah, ada je freshies older than me, yang jenis sambung belajar lambat. Macam aku pun, study lambat setahun, sebab dah graduate last year, this year baru sambung. So back to rasa insecure tu. Okay rasa insecure lah sebab diorang younger than me dah dapat sambung degree. Aku 21 baru nak sambung, late by 2 years if ikut standard Asasi, and 1 year if ikut standard STPM. Also, rasa insecure with diorang punya pandai. PASUM/Asasi/Matriks dah confirm confirm mostly lepasan SPM with straight As, plus Bs je dalam result. The rest pula, like STPM/STAM/Diploma, pointer semua tinggi tinggi. I’m not saying I’m stupid but rasa macam wow I feel small compared to them. Tapi bila fikir fikir balik, it doesn’t matter sebab setiap orang pandai dia lain lain. Lagi lagi bila dah jadi Degree student kat sini, semuanya tak kira lah pandai ke kurang pandai ke, automatically jadi equal balik. Mungkin kau pandai, mungkin aku kurang pandai, tapi in the end kita dua sama je jadi degree student jugak dekat sini. Kau layak sambung sini, aku pun layak sambung sini. Now kita dua ada same goal, nak graduate as a Degree student of UM.

Then kita move on pulak kepada topik seterusnya, studying BA in East Asia Studies. Memang tak dapat dinafikan yang course ni agak minor jugak, tak ramai yang tahu. Aduh sudah lah lepasan Diploma ni minor, tambah lagi dengan study course yang minor jugak hahaha. Okay, bila orang tanya aku study apa, mostly will be like,

"Haa? Study pasal apa tu?"

Dia punya reaction tu tak macam bila kita kata kita ni study Business ke, Sains ke, Media ke, sebab tiga ni course yang mostly orang dah tahu tau study pasal apa and akan jadi apa. Okay so far study East Asia ni ada mixed feelings lah haha. Can be boring sometimes, can be fun sometimes. Yang aku tahu, kelas aku paling enjoy sekali, kelas Bahasa Jepun. Seronok belajar new language, lagi lagi aku sendiri memang minat dengan bahasa ni, so memang rasa motivated. Yang lain pulak dia rasa macam can be boring, can be okay. This semester aku banyak belajar sejarah tentang tamadun di negara Asia Timur ni. Sejarah je mesti nak kata boring kan? Hahaha, tak jugak. Depends lah on what chapter yang kita belajar. Lecturer pun memainkan peranan yang penting tau, if cara dia mengajar tu passive, boleh jadi bosan jugak. Ye, aku ada lecturer yang cara mengajar dia sangat bosan, asyik rasa nak tidur je dalam kelas. But over all, I enjoy this course!

Now, set goal dalam kepala, nak genggam Ijazah Sarjana Muda with Honours bila graduate nanti. Tak kira lah kau study apa pun, semua orang ada satu goal kan which is to graduate with excellent result. Alright that's all. All the best for my 3.5 years at Universiti Malaya! ;)

Minggu Haluansiswa Universiti Malaya 2016/2017.

Hai, aku nak cerita pengalaman aku attend Minggu Haluansiswa Universiti Malaya 2016/2017. It’s gonna be a very long one, for sure. OK, so malam sebelum aku pergi mendaftar tu aku memang tidur lambat. Around 3 AM sebab ada BBQ Party by my friends, diorang buat kat aku kengkonon nya macam farewell gittew, and congratulating me also.

Dalam 6.50 AM dah gerak ke UM, memang tak cukup tidur lah, agak penat. Aku datang awal, sebab Azma, kawan aku yang dulunya satu group Ouch Krikk Krikk (now 2nd Year) bagitahu, datang awal supaya tak ada masalah habis saiz baju nanti. Dia merupakan Pemudahcara Mahasiswa or PM (basically macam fasilitator lah) untuk Kolej Kediaman Ketiga tahun ni, so dia share lah few tips. Aku pun datang awal, dalam 7.30 AM macam tu aku sampai di Padang Kawad Palapes then, naik bas from there gerak lah ke Kolej Kediaman Kelapan or also known as Kolej Kediaman Kinabalu. Kolej aku kali ni memang atas sikit daripada KK3 dulu, jauh di atas bukit (sesuai lah dengan nama lol). Dalam 8 AM siap dah mendaftar bilik. Masuk bilik, then PM bagitahu kitorang ada free time until 11 AM untuk kemas stuff dalam bilik. Parents pula kena turun dewan dalam pukul 9.50 AM untuk hadiri taklimat. Aku ambil katil bawah, tetapi terpaksa pindah katil atas sebab dapat roommate plus size. Katil single pula khas buat senior sahaja.

Then, bila dah settle semua, parents dah balik, bermula lah minggu orientasi. First day lagi aku dah sakit kepala sebab jadual aktiviti tersangat lah pack. Hanya balik bilik untuk mandi dan tidur sahaja. Selebihnya buat aktiviti seperti di kolej, Dewan Tunku Canselor (DTC), and berjalan ke Fakulti untuk sesi explore UM. Sepanjang MHSUM1617 ni, pelajar KK dibahagikan kepada cell or sel. Basically it’s like a group lah. Aku ditempatkan dalam Sel 9. Ada dalam 24 members tak silap. 10 lelaki, 14 perempuan. Lelaki tu dalam 7 orang Melayu, 3 orang Cina.

Pada mulanya aku rasa macam ah fuck gila lah semua aktiviti ni! Aku penat, aku nak tidur. Bila diajar pula cheers, dan choreography lagu tema MHSUM1617, which is Masih Di Sini by Bunkface btw, aku rasa macam malas sangat. Aku rasa apa diorang ajar ni tersangat lah cringy dan lame af. Setiap hari tidur lambat, dalam 2 jam je. Aktiviti habis paling awal dalam 12.30 AM, paling lambat dalam 1 AM. Then kena bangun at 4.30 AM dan mesti dah ada kat dewan tepat at 5 AM. Memang tiring gila. Disebabkan aku malas nak mandi pagi nanti, malam tu aku mandi kaw kaw. So bangun nanti tinggal sarung baju je and blah.

Cheers dan choreography ni memang menyampah nak learn pada mulanya, tetapi lama kelamaan aku jadi rasa suka pula nak belajar semua tu lebih lebih lagi lepas pergi DTC untuk sesi taklimat pasal macam macam topik lah. Bila sampai DTC, setiap KK akan show their own cheers, so bila dah berkumpul dalam tu, masing masing fight cheers siapa lagi gempak. Aku pun daripada rasa malas nak ambil kisah, jadi tercabar pula. So aku learn betul betul then fight cheers tu as semangat as I could masa di DTC. Memang seronok. Selain tu, DTC also equals to peluang curi/topup tidur haha. Disebabkan pelajar ramai tak cukup tidur, diorang memang ramai tersengguk sengguk dalam DTC tu. Aku banyak kali tidur, so ada sekali tu memang sepanjang taklimat tu aku tidur. Bangun je taklimat dah habis and I missed important information.

Moments aku paling suka sekali sepanjang minggu ni are; Majlis Perasmian Minggu Haluansiswa, Malam Ambang Kemerdekaan, which disambut di DTC AND Kolej Kediaman pada waktu malam before 31st August. KK kitorang semua segak berbaju tradisional masing masing. Only KK8 and KK10 je kot aku perasan pakai baju tradisional. Malam tu memang gempak, macam macam persembahan bertemakan kemerdekaan ada. Aku dengan kawan baru aku semua menggila melolong jerit excited. Memang sangat cantik view dalam DTC malam tu, bila ada performance semua keluarkan flashlight, ada juga letak flashlight dalam cawan plastik berwarna, or suluh flashlight dekat balloon. So nampak macam flashlight berwarna warni lah dalam DTC tu.

After that pulang lah ke KK8 untuk aktiviti di KK masing masing. KK kitorang buat Fashion Show, and Dede (Dee-dee), cellmate aku which is a Chinese guy, dia joined. Kitorang wakilkan dia, tapi dia tak ada baju tradisional dia sendiri so aku pinjamkan dia Baju Melayu aku. OK lah, dapat lah score 7-7-7 by judges. OK what, hit the jackpot tu! Lepas tu ada fireworks, kitorang tengok fireworks di langit sambil nyanyikan lagu kemerdekaan. Next, mesti lah Malam Penutup Minggu Haluansiswa. Malam ni lah malam pengakhir kepada minggu orientasi ni. Malam ni juga semua KK akan fight cheers secara habis habisan untuk tunjuk siapa punya cheers paling gempak. In the end KK1 menang. Setiap KK memang gempak cheers dia tapi yang paling aku suka is KK1 dan KK5 sebab diorang punya cheers ada shoutout dekat semua KK yang ada dalam UM ni. So memang gempak gila lah! Habis je malam ni, semua pulang ke KK untuk sesi terakhir bersama PM. Kitorang makan kek ramai ramai then ada sesi selfie. It was fun!

Selepas selesai menyambut Malam Ambang Kemerdekaan
di Kolej Kediaman Kelapan. #Sel9

Selepas selesai menyambut Malam Penutup
Minggu Haluansiswa. #Sel9

Now it’s over, I had a really cool experience. Sekali je tau kau experience benda ni sebab bukannya kau nak sambung Degree banyak kali kan? Lebih lebih lagi di UM.

Of Medical Check-up and Cuci Gigi.

Hey! Takde pape pun. Ni saje nak write random post about apa aku buat harini.

So today is the day where my Mom kena buat monthly medical check-up dia sebab dia ada diabetes. I was like, eh alang alang tu why not aku buat medical check-up aku je terus, untuk kemasukan Degree* Ahad next week (28/8). OK so we all went lah to Klinik Kesihatan Sungai Buloh, then masa kat kaunter tu my Mom asked the receptionist boleh ke anak nak guna Kad Pesara of my Dad (my Dad bekas tentera) untuk you know, dapat diskaun lol. Then receptionist tu kata cannot, but she told me to pergi this bilik, tanya staff kat situ regarding buat medical check-up. So bila pergi, ada this doctor minta nak check my borang then she asked,

"X-Ray nak buat sekali ke? Sebab dalam borang ni kata X-Ray ni for international students only."

I replied, "Emm entah... lah... tu tak pasti pulak, tapi biasa check-up memang akan include X-Ray sekali kan?"

"Ha'ah, biasa student memang akan buat X-Ray sekali. Kalau nak buat, kena buat appointment lah. Adik akan diletak dalam list, and by 30/8 baru boleh buat X-Ray." kata doctor tersebut huhu.

I was like, 30?! GURL I pergi mendaftar 28 kot. Tu pun 30 tu baru buat X-Ray je, film dia tu mesti nak kena tunggu lagi pula kan kutip bila. So lagi lambat process dia. So my Mom cakap takpe lah pergi buat dekat Hospital/Klinik Swasta je lah. So my medical check-up tu cancel sudah disitu. Buat dekat private je. Then, while waiting for my Mom's turn nak check-up, dia kata dia nak cabut gigi pula. Pergi lah ke bahagian Dental, which kebetulan lah buka harini.

OK now aku nak cerita pasal service Dental Department kat sini lah hehe.
I think the last time I went here was, when I was 11 kot. Cabut gigi. Klinik Gigi kat sini dia buka hari Selasa dan Khamis for Pesakit Luar. So my Mom pun pergi register nak cabut gigi, aku pun gedik gedik register nak buat scaling haha. Dua dua mendaftar as pesakit baru so kena charge RM1. My Dad pun nak scaling juga tapi dia dah pernah pergi sini dulu untuk cabut gigi so dia tak payah buat pendaftaran pesakit baru lah. After mendaftar tu macam biasa lah tunggu turn. But my Mom went in first tapi free of charge sebab dia pakai Kad Pesara my Dad. I guess kad tu can be used by suami isteri je kot lol idk. Lepas je my Mom settle cabut gigi dia pergi terus tunggu turn check-up dia. After tu my Dad punya turn pulak (he went to Room 4) tapi unfortunately mesin kat bilik my Dad supposed to buat tu rosak. So dia kena buat appointment, hari lain nanti baru pergi scaling. Me? I waited for 40 minutes. Lama juga lah tapi while waiting, I read this manga called, Kounodori. Kurang lah sikit rasa menunggu tu. Then my turn came (I went to Room 2), pergi lah buat scaling. Masa nak scaling tu, dentist tu tegur,

"Alahai bersih sangat gigi adik ni, takde pape sangat pun. Tapi kita cuci cuci sikit lah ye."

Tak sampai 10 minutes pun, I think dalam 5-7 mins settle dah. Wow quite fast juga. It was all good, takde sakit apa semua, ngilu sikit. Then pergi lah kaunter, bayar. Total scaling, RM3. WOW! Murah hahaha.

RM2 for scaling, RM1 for registration.

Compared to last year (October) aku buat scaling dekat Klinik Pergigian Rohaya Kota Damansara, a private clinic, RM80 seorang. Also pernah teman my friend, Aimi scaling kat situ juga. So I was like apa bezanya ek compared to private dengan government yang aku buat ni. Beza dia, of course lah price kan. Yang private tu RM80 while government ni RM3. Kira lah berapa dah jimat. Then... I guess, service kot. Kat private tu, tube nak sedut air tu staff dia yang tolong buat kan. While kat klinik government aku pergi ni, tube tu aku sendiri kena pegang. Disebabkan aku sendiri tak nampak mana air tu bertakung, aku tertelan sikit. Puihhh pahit! Apa lagi nak compare hmm... OHH private tu include polishing (liquid yang dentist guna untuk polishing tu en rasa orange hihi) while tadi cuma scaling sahaja. And air kumur kat private tu dia macam minty, while government ni air kosong je hahahaha. Takde masalah pun tapi nak compare punya pasal lol.

So after I'm done with scaling, my Mom done with her check-up, pergi lah ke klinik swasta untuk buat MY medical check-up. OK kita kembali ke topic medical check-up aku. Pergi klinik yang first ni, price dia semua total to RM280. WTF mahal gila, plus X-Ray dia akan bagi dalam disc, dia tak cuci. Lagi lah wtf, nak cuci X-Ray tu lagi dah tambah kos dah. Then pergi klinik lain pulak, lagi mencanak price dia, RM300++. My Dad cakap semua ni mengarut lol. Aku pun garu kepala dah, then check balik borang check-up tu. Ikut kan borang tu, local student kena buat Urine Test je. Tu je. Yang lain lain tu semua for international student only. Aku pun call UM nak make sure and diorang kata yes takyah buat, cuma buat Urine Test je. Saje call nak make sure sebab, memang biasa nya student buat X-Ray tapi UM dah kata camtu, takyah lah then. Jimat sikit. So esok lah kot pergi buat Urine Test hihi, dekat government juga lah kot.

OK pasal degree ni nak cerita sikit. 10 August lepas I paid dah Yuran Kemasukan UM, RM910. Pagi tu pergi bank in dah. Then, malam tu I received a call from 'UKM'. Personal number yang call, at 8PM. Dia kenalkan diri dia as Prof. Madya something something ~, aku tak ingat nama dia. Dia tanya aku dapat Tawaran Sementara kan and I said yes. Dia nak inform yang aku actually dapat the offer from UKM sebab dia kata my video was one of the videos yang dapat high score. Tapi dia sendiri pelik why UPU kata aku tak dapat and maybe it was an error. I was like ALAAAAAA WHYYYYY, I ALREADY PAID FOR UM YOU KNOW. Memang kabut juga lah malam tu sebab why lambat inform kalau awal awal kau inform aku dah pilih UKM dah. Tapi lepas fikir punya fikir, aku suspicious juga dengan caller tu. Is it a scam or what? I asked my relative yang kebetulan work as a lecturer at UKM. Dia kata tunggu surat tawaran yang official, if dapat then betul lah UKM panggil. Tapi lepas tu aku fikir masak masak, fikir betul betul, aku chose to go with UM. Mungkin rezeki aku bersama UM? If betul lah UKM yang call aku, aku just nak cakap management korang sucks lol. Ada ke patut inform lambat, and boleh pula dia kata sistem UPU error like idk man pening lah????
Time aku dah bayar yuran kemasukan, baru nak call kata dapat this and that so aku macam whatever lah lol.

All right, das all. Almost a week left before aku bergelar as undergraduate student at Universiti Malaya. Am I nervous for Minggu Haluansiswa? DEFINITELY. Apa apa pun I'll do my best eeeeeek.



Hahahaha, talk about giving false hopes. Good game, UKM. Not only you're good with your reputation, apparently you're good at playing with other people's feelings too! Aku honestly tak tahu apa function kau bagi tawaran sementara tu. UKM should just stop with that, seriously. I thought I was the only one yang dapat tawaran sementara tapi end up tak dapat official tawaran, rupanya yang lain pun ada juga. Most of them semua kecewa sebab UKM bagi harapan palsu. Pfftt, fuck that tawaran sementara lah! Baik tak payah bagi tawaran sementara apa apa pun, sebab dia bagi harapan palsu dekat applicants. I think aku jadi berharap gila sebab masa keluar je tawaran sementara tu memang kecoh dekat Twitter. I followed this one account nama dia Twt Campus. Admin masa minggu tu (which also a UKM student) tweet yang katanya kalau ada tandatangan Naib Canselor dekat surat tawaran sementara tu maknanya, "Welcome to UKM!". Sebab tu lah semua macam convinced lah diorang dah boleh masuk UKM. Tapi last last hampeh LOL! So tak ada lah peluang nak study di UKM, it's okay Faiz. You've tried.

But my opinion on tawaran sementara ni is, ianya sangat unnecessary. Baik announce dekat UPU je, biar lah tunggu lama sikit pun. Nak buat camni macam buang masa plus buat orang jadi lagi berharap.
I am sad, I am upset, I am pissed.

No luck I guess...

But worry not... because I've got another offer!

Hahaha, guess I'm back at Universiti Malaya huh?
Yes, look at the course yang dia offer. Pengajian Asia Timur, aka East Asian Studies. Actually, this course was my first choice last year masa first time apply degree dekat Universiti Malaya but instead I got English. I know I know, you might be wondering, what the hell is this course all about?

I don't know much either. All I know is I have to study about a country (that I want) yang located in East Asia. If I'm not mistaken, ada tiga choices yang UM offer; Japan, Korea and China. But I asked few of my friends yang already studying this course at UM and they told me that this course will teach you about culture, geography, politics, and even language of the country you pick tu. So... I pick Japan lah for sure nanti. Plus, I'll earn new language skill! I'm still wondering  about the career prospect of this course tho. Anyways, asked my parents and they said,
"Takpe lah, ambil je lah."

Alright, guess I'll be back at Universiti Malaya huh? Hahaha and my kolej pun located tak berapa jauh daripada my faculty AND my old residential college that I used to stay, back in my Diploma. Eeeek I'm so nervous and excited at the same time. But I'll update more regarding this course, like lepas habis satu atau dua semester ke.

Later! xx

P/S: Aku ni memeningkan kan? For those yang pernah baca my old posts (but I highly doubt anyone actually ever did lol) mesti be like, mamat ni minat apa sebenarnya? Haritu dapat offer English Studies dia kata dia tak minat kononnya nak pergi dunia Media or Marketing. Then tup tap tup tap, dia tak minat Marketing pulak katanya lebih minat kepada Media so dia nak further in Media Studies. Now lagi mengarut, dapat East Asian Studies pulak?! What the t0oooowtttt! Kengkadang aku terfikir juga, aku ni memang sembang kencang lah. Plan itu ini semua. Tapi tu lah, kita hanya mampu merancang, Tuhan yang menentukan. Memang frust gak lah, sebab dalam life aku ni aku rasa anything aku plan mesti semua tak jadi. Sedih gila.

Tawaran Awal or Sementara from UKM.

Temporary Offer from UKM

Alhamdulillah, I didn't expect to get this offer from Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia or National University of Malaysia.

I know this is just an early/temporary offer from UKM but still, I'm so glad. Can't be happy yet as I don't know the final result. Hopefully I'll make it through UPU, Amin, InsyaAllah.

Okay okay ready ni, kita nak cerita panjang.

So after half a year I graduated from Diploma in Business Management at University of Malaya, aku dah fikir masak masak yang aku taknak take Business path. Bila tengok course outline for course seperti Marketing, Business Administration, ada banyak subject yang involve calculation. Accounts, Economics, Business Maths and banyak lagi lah. Me, since primary school lagi, subject yang related to calculation, aku memang lemah. I am more of a theory kinda person. Looking back at my result transcript, mana mana subject that involved calculation (Principles of Economics, Principles of Accounting, Accounting and Financial Management etc.) mesti dapat C+ or B- at least haha. So it got me thinking la, do I really wanna take the Business path? I asked myself banyak kali. Try to discover my weakness.

Lepas fikir punya fikir, I decided to study Media Communications/Media related subject. NOT because it's easy, because I think it suits me. So I'm planning to take journalism path. Paling tak suka persepsi orang yang kata, "Oh Masscomm je pun, kacang ah course tu." Honey, no. Each courses ada susah and senang dia. I think the difficulty of the course depends to the individual itself. Orang tu boleh bawa, senang lah. Tak boleh bawa, jadi susah lah. Back to the story, well before sambung UM pun, I was gonna take English Communication at KPM so masa tu memang dah dream dah nak jadi journalist. Then parents told me to sambung UM yadda yadda yadda I did.

Okay now how I applied for UKM pula.

Through UPU la lol! So I put UKM as my first choice sebab ada interview. For degree kena apply 8 courses right, so the rest I applied Media related course juga AND I sorted my choices by rank Universiti. Memang masa apply tu cuak sangat sebab ye lah kena pergi interview kot, tak ke scary. I was like apa lah soalan yang dia akan tanya masa interview nanti haha. Ada juga fikir dalam hati, dengan result aku ni, layak ke nak apply dekat UKM. Sebab masa tengok requirements tu, pointer memang lepas tapi masih lagi rasa rendah diri. But takpe lah, kita cuba kita cuba. So, I applied dalam bulan Februari tak silap, then tunggu je lah. Then I saw on Twitter that boleh semak dah tawaran temuduga, so I checked. First I checked UiTM dulu, sadly tak dapat. Rasa disappointed sikit masa tu. Then I checked UKM, dapat. YES! Happy sangat bila dapat offer interview. Then rasa macam pelik sikit sebab interview dia bukan face-to-face but instead, video resume. I was like, huh?

Guides for the Video Resume

After I read all the requirements, terus cepat cepat draft script for my video. I did a lot of research about tokoh tokoh yang inspirational. Tengok juga video resumes yang past year punya, saje tengok untuk tips and motivational purpose. Bukan tu je, sebab nak faham lagi few stuff about my course tu, I read my younger sister punya textbook. Last year she studied Diploma in Communication at Kolej Universiti Islam Antarabangsa Selangor, also known as KUIS. But halfway je sebab dia kata, "Aku tak minat ah course ni." So I finished this textbook in one night called,

Kewartawanan Malaysia: Praktis & Cabaran dalam Era Revolusi Digital by Saiful Nujaimi Abdul Rahman.

This book really gave me a lot of insight about journalism. I knew a lot from reading this book. Alhamdulillah. Ada juga go through my sis punya slides yang mana mana related to journalism/media. Memang stress juga lah, sebab tempoh yang diberikan memang singkat tau. Maybe UKM nak tengok how well we can do our work in such a short amount of time. Of course video resume aku tu aku tak buat sorang. I asked Helmi, my bestfriend, which kebetulan is studying Diploma in Mass Communication at SEGi University. He helped me a lot in terms of recording the video (dia cameraman okay!) and editing the video. I also asked him what he studied so far, what he learned, why choose that course untuk tambah lagi info pasal course yang boleh disumbat dalam kepala otak aku ni hahaha!

Drafts after drafts, finally dapat pun final script. Then plan dengan Helmi and Syamim kat mana nak shoot video resume. Helmi jadi cameraman, Syamim as a person yang drive ke location. Thank you so much to both of you, without your help memang tak dapat lah nak buat video resume tu, even temporary offer ni pun memang takkan dapat haha. Akhirnya after all the hard works, maka terhasil lah video ini.

It is certainly not the best video resume compared to other video resumes out there but at least I tried. It took two days to shoot the video, sebab first day hujan so can shoot separuh je. The rest sambung esok, awal awal pagi shoot to avoid background noise yang teruk in case akan hujan ke. But still, background noise masih boleh dengar lagi despite dah letak background music pun haha. Helmi kata video ni nampak very advertisement-ish sangat LOL! My other friends ada comment, yang I look like I'm out of breath, WELL NO SHIT! Duration video 3 minutes je kot, and I have a lot to tell UKM why I deserved to study there haha. Memang every words counts!

So yeah that is all. Ni baru temporary offer, hopefully dapat lah final offer masa UPU announce result nanti. I really want to further my study at UKM, so bad! Now I just have to wait for the final decision this August. Eeeekkk so anxious thinking about it!

Bye! xx


current status:

simply living without any purpose in life. i'm lost. no colours, no fun in life anymore.

it's like i'm living in monochrome.




It hurts, you know.

Bila kau tengah ada problem, kau depressed, kau down, tapi kau tak tahu nak mengadu kat siapa. It hurts when you don't have someone that can understand the pain you're going through.


Eventhough I've got friends who accepts me,
I still feel... oddly lonely.